Funny Things That Kids Say

By Liam Hewer Child making funny face

As a children’s entertainer at Bluestone, I’m used to hearing all sorts of weird and wonderful outbursts from our pint-sized guests.

Here are just a few of the funny things the little ones have come out with over the years:

Me: Are you ok? why do you keep checking your thumbs?
Child: I have to keep them very still.
Me: Why's that?
Child: Dad said that if I keep wiggling them playing games they'll fall off!


Child: My Dad says he wishes the fairies would get rid of some of Mummy’s  shoes... but mum says the fairies took dad’s hair instead!


Me: What's wrong?

Child: I've got mud on my shoes, my mum will be cross…
Other child: hmm, are you from England?


Child: Have you got a girlfriend?
Me: I have a wife.
Child: What's a wife?
Me: It’s a girlfriend you love very much and you marry her.
Child: Oh right, so what colour is her face?


Child: Want to hear a joke?
Me: Yeah sure.
Child: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: I don’t know, why?
Child: Erm... (thinks) LADYBIRD!


Child: I saw a dragon once and he breathed fire and it burnt a turtle. But don’t worry, the turtle was ok because he’s a pirate.


Child: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Yes, of course.
Child: You dance funny.


Me: Who here believes in fairies?
Child: Dad! Put your hand down you big sissy!


Me: Ok everyone close your eyes and count how many woodland sounds you can hear.
Child: I can hear 6…
Other child: Well, I can hear 7…
Other child: I can hear 500!


My Fellow Entertainer: My Names Loopy Lou….
Child: My Names Bouncing Ben…..
Other child: My Names Silly Sammi…..
Other child: My Names Racing Ted…..
Other child: No Ted, you can't have that! We are doing alliteration!

Categories:Bluestone

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